How to Sell without Being a D-Bag.

I am just getting my day started with a little workout and I just got the wildest message from a client of mine. It was both really, really kind and also it kind of shocked me and I want to share it with you, and I’m going to explain why it was so shocking in just a second. But let’s take a listen. So, this is somebody who just joined our Authority Accelerator Program. And he says …

“I was telling Lauren that, I really do get the feeling that everything about the way that you’re doing your business is centered more on quality than on quantity, which is amazing on the internet because everybody on there is about growth, growth, growth and maximizing the number of people in their rooms, maximizing the number of people in their programs, maximizing their income. Frankly, I think it reflects a disease of our culture, which is growth at the expense of health and quantity at the expense of quality. So, I have great respect for the integrity with which you seem to be doing your whole thing. I was like, wait a minute, lifetime access, no more upsells? What’s the catch? I was like, are you serious? Wait a minute. I actually got choked up. I actually started to tear up about that when she told me that that’s how it works.”

Such a nice message and such good human and the shocking part for me is that we’ve really come to expect, especially in the online space, that the sales process has to be gross, has to be yucky, has to be fear inducing, has to be anxiety ridden, and it sometimes feels like we forgot that we’re dealing with real human beings. For lack of a better term, it kind of feels like you have to be a D-bag in order to be good at sales and that’s just not true. Listen, I have come a long way when it comes to selling and sales and seeing it really as a spiritual practice and that’s how we now approach it in our business. I see selling as one of the biggest acts of generosity and service that you can do if you believe and align with your product, whatever it may be, doesn’t matter what kind of business you have.

If you’re selling something that is helpful and impacting people, oh my gosh, you’re a vehicle to them getting the results and changing their lives or their businesses in the way that they want to. So, I want to walk you behind the scenes of how we approach this, because I think it’ll help sort of demystify selling and make it less scary and less intimidating and give you some really valuable tools to walk into growing a business because without sales, you do not have a business. Period. End of story. So, it’s a necessary part of growing.

Did our team get to this place where we really just thrive and love enrolling people into our programs and selling and it all has to do with a book I have talked about many times called The Four Agreements. Hands down, this book changed my life in so many ways personally and professionally, but The Four Agreements really are the four pillars that we operate by. One of them is don’t make assumptions, which means that we really focus on asking questions and truly understanding the people that we’re talking to, who are interested in our program to make sure that it’s a fit, not just for them, but also for us. We want to make sure that we’re not making an assumption about somebody’s status or situation based on just an application. We really are listening to them, so we ask a lot of questions.

 So I am fresh out of the shower and I’m about to listen to sales calls as I get ready for my day because I truly do think that the more you listen, the more you really understand your clients. So this helps me inform our marketing and our copy, how we better portray the value of our programs to our clients and it just makes us a stronger team. So, I do this often. Might seem weird, but it is one of my activities. So I do it while I’m getting ready. I do while I’m in the car and I think if you are going to get good at anything you think about athletes and how much game tape they watch. I think this is the same thing.

I was taking notes mentally and also writing them down on my computer as I was listening and I think this goes for anybody you ever hire, especially in the beginning, I always say like when you’re in the hiring process, it’s short-term pain long-term gain. And what I mean by that, is it’s not really painful, but you want to make sure that you’re in as much communication with your new hires as you can. If you’re expecting to bring someone on your team and they’re just going to like magically be perfect at what they do, that’s on you as a leader, that’s your bad and I’ve had to learn that mistake. So, I stay in communication with my whole team as much as possible and provide as my much feedback as possible. But especially with somebody who’s new on the team, I want to make sure that I’m listening to all of their calls and that the calls are going smoothly for them because ultimately the more smoothly they go for them, the more confident they feel, the more people we can impact.

So, the next agreement that keeps us aligned and on track is Be Impeccable With Your Word. What I mean by this is, it’s really why we focus so much on research and development and speaking to real human beings and testing anything that we are planning on selling because that makes the process of selling so much smoother because you then know that your idea is validated and that you actually have people who really need what you’re selling and it’s not that you are giving them something that you think they need. You actually know they need it.

So, therefore, you are delivering on what it is that they want and that is making sure that what you’re selling is aligned with what they want and you’re not being a snake oil salesman and selling them something just for the sake of making money. And so being impactful with your word is ensuring that you know the value, very clearly, and what you’re delivering very clearly so that you can invite and work with if the right people and the right clients, which ultimately is just beneficial to everyone involved from the clients, to you and your business and your overall growth.

The second agreement is Don’t Take Anything Personally. This can be a little bit tricky because sometimes it’s hard and especially when you love your business, you love what you do and you know the value of what you do, it’s really hard not to feel like, why wouldn’t you do this? I know this is going to help you. I know this is going to change your life. But, the reality is, a lot of the times if somebody isn’t ready or they say, no, it has to do with their own stuff and if you look at selling as an act of building relationships and being a vehicle for somebody to get at the result that they’re ultimately looking for, whatever that may be, inevitably, they will become a client or a customer. We like to say in my business delayed, but not denied. Maybe somebody can’t enroll today or be a client today or be a customer today.

But if you continue to show up for them, nurture them, reach out to them, build a relationship with them. We have had clients come back two, three, years later after having an initial conversation with us and say, I’m ready now because we have continued to build trust with them and we have continued to nurture them. Look at everything as a long-term relationship and it’s not a no forever, if you don’t take it personally. If you take it personally, then you’re probably shutting the door on that person and they’re not going to have a great experience with you, which again, just doesn’t benefit anybody. The last one is Always Do Your Best and what I mean by that, especially when it comes to sales, is there’s a lot of different ways that you can interpret it. But I believe that you have to be your best and take the best care of yourself in order to really be able to serve people at the highest level.

And so taking care of your mental, physical, emotional wellbeing, because it takes being present to really make sure that you are working with the right people and you’re serving people in the best way for them. Whether that’s you saying, yes, we’re a perfect fit. This is aligned or you saying, you know what, I’ve really listened and I just don’t think this is a fit right now. You’re doing yourself a service and them by choosing one of those paths, but you can only get to a yes or a no if you really listen and you’re really present and you can only be present and you can only listen, if you really feel your best. So, really important that you take care of yourself because you are that link between them and their goals. So, you have to take it seriously. These four pillars, those four agreements really are what have built the foundation of what has become a really healthy business.

Because like I said, without sales, you don’t really have a business. And it’s a big thing that I had to overcome. I really am passionate about this topic and it’s something that we support our clients with in a big way, because a lot of our clients come in, they’ve never sold a thing in their entire lives and so it can feel intimidating, especially if you think that sales is like this gross sleazy thing. But the truth is, if you focus on the value of what you are selling to somebody, the value of the transformation, the value of the outcome, and you have something that you super aligned with and proud of, you will never have to resort to sleazy tactics. The value will speak for itself. So, I wanted to share a little strategy that one of our clients, actually, one of our new clients, shared with us because she was just getting into sales.

She sold her first online course in 11 days, she did $7,800 and she said… “The first thing I do every morning is wake up and write a short essay about something that feels really vital about my course. My essays are based on what desires came up in the research that I did prior to creating my course. I write these with my phone off and no distraction and it helps me stay very focused on the value of my program. In particular, why I’m so passionate about it.”

And I think that’s so powerful because, when you think about sales, oftentimes you see dollar signs and you think about money and you forget about the real people who are trusting you and investing in you, really, and your business. And so it brings it back to remembering your why, the impact you want to make and the people that you’re ultimately serving.

Sales does not have to be scary or sleazy. 

Are you with me?