12 things I had to QUIT to become a successful entrepreneur…

Entrepreneurship might look fun and glamorous and exciting but at the same time, it can also be a little bit messy. And I talked a lot about that in this video, the ugly truth of entrepreneurship, which I’ll link to below. And I wanted to share with you (which I have never actually shared before) the 12 things that I have had to quit in order to become a successful entrepreneur. 

The very first thing that I had to quit, other people, other people’s opinions. And what I mean by that, especially in the beginning stages when you’re an entrepreneur, everybody’s got an opinion. And my criteria for who I actually take advice from and who I listen to is, have they done what I want to do? Are they more successful than me at what I want to do? And are they living the kind of life that I want? Because there are a lot of people who are way more successful than me, but I don’t want their life. They’re overworked. They’re retired and they’re kind of miserable. So those are my three criteria. And if they don’t fit into those criteria, everything they say I take with a grain of salt or I genuinely just tune them out. A lot of people in your life will give you those opinions and feedback, especially when you’re starting as an entrepreneur, because it’s not the normal path and they’re trying to protect you or they’re jealous of you. So you really got to consider the source.

Number two. Toxic people and toxic energy. So I had some relationships and some friendships that really didn’t serve either party because they became really toxic due to a lot of different reasons. And I was really mindful of quality over quantity. And especially after the last year that we’ve had, I am very, very mindful of who I surround myself with because we’ve kind of had to be. And I really only want people in my life that are happier for my success than I am for my success. And that’s something that Oprah said recently. And I think that really does define a good friend and a good person in your life. And so getting rid of toxic energy and toxic people and boundaries, like no other, making sure that you’re putting up those walls, putting up those boundaries to really block off and protect, it’s like there’s lasers coming at me, things that are super toxic in your life.

Next thing is, and this is kind of challenging because sometimes it’s necessary, but short term thinking. It’s really easy to be reactive when you’re running a business because a lot of the times, especially in the beginning, you’re just trying to get by and you’re just trying to make a sale. So it’s easy to have shiny object syndrome and think that you need to do all of the things and say yes to everything. There is a balance on that. Of course you want to take opportunities when you’re getting started, but they have to be aligned with where you’re going. And so I often think about it like this. One of my mentors said this to me and I will never ever forget it. They said, “Here’s your goal of what you want to accomplish.” And I wasn’t entirely sure of what that goal was going to be and what I wanted to accomplish, but I had a vision set for what I wanted my life to look like. And so he’s like, “You’re here. This is your outcome and your goal. Every decision that you make needs to be aligned with this goal. And if it’s not, don’t do it.”

And at the time I was still getting started, I was still taking freelance jobs. I was still doing some reporting here and there. I was still doing some TV work. So he said, he’s like, “You’re going to start building your business and something’s going to come along right here and it’s going to be a great TV opportunity and it’s going to be a shiny thing. So you have to make a decision. Does this align with this or is it taking you off track?” So short-term thinking is something that you really have to be mindful of in the beginning. And the whole way through there will always be shiny objects, especially as you grow, more people want your attention, more people want things from you. And the more you have to say no and only say yes with what aligns with your ultimate outcome. I call it legacy thinking, because I want you to think in terms of what’s the highest version of yourself and what will the 80 year old version of yourself be super proud of you for in terms of your decision-making?

The next thing is something I really haven’t talked about, drinking. I’ve never been a big drinker by any means, but I like a glass of wine or two every now and then as we all do. I have to recognize that time is so precious. And especially when you’re trying to build a business, your time is super, super valuable and you got to be dialed in and mentally clear and focused a lot of the time. And I really just don’t like the feeling; one, being out of my element or out of control and I really don’t like feeling foggy and unclear. As I’ve gotten older and the less that I drink, the easier it is for me to get a little tipsy off of a tiny glass of whatever. So I just recognize that for me, it wasn’t aligning with who I wanted to be and where I was going. And so I just don’t really drink very often at all. My friends and family know that about me. It’s kind of an ongoing joke.

I will have a glass here and there. Hey, maybe I’ll have a crazy night once in a while, but being really mindful of your time and how much it’s costing you to be hung over, to be sluggish and honestly, the moment that I really was mindful of how I spent my time and what I was doing in terms of going out and getting to sleep late and all of those things, the more recognized I just feel so much better when I’m clear and I feel so much better when I’m taking really good care of myself. So that’s not judgment on anybody else, but I just wanted to share that with you because I don’t think it’s something that’s often talked about all that much.

The next thing is … As you start to grow in a business and as an entrepreneur, it’s pretty easy to be like, “Hey, look at me. Look at me go.” I’m doing all these things. I’m gaining some traction, gaining momentum, and because it takes some time to get to a place where things actually feel good, you really want to celebrate that and own it. But the flip side of that is if you buy too much into your bullshit and you buy too much into your success and forget how you started or forget where you came from, the more dangerous that can be for you. And so I talked about this in this video and it’s something that Jeff Bezos talks about and it’s something that Amazon lives by, which is the beginner’s mindset. I wake up every day like it’s day one of my business. My team is the same.

It’s a value of our company. We want to be day one mentality all the time, because that keeps you scrappy and it keeps you innovative. I remember when my YouTube channel started to see some success and we got to 100,000 subscribers, it was pretty early on and I was like, “Okay, we need the big fancy set. We need all the things. We need all the bells and whistles,” and we up-leveled, but it felt so disjointed from who I was. I was the girl who gained traction by shooting in basically pajamas on my couch in my apartment. So being in this big, huge set just felt really out of alignment. And so be cautious of buying too much into your own bullshit and believing your own hype because the moment you do that, the moment you allow others to get an edge on you, to be honest, and to forget what it actually took for you to get there and go back to those basics of what works. Because honestly, business is quite simple. It’s hard work, but it’s quite simple.

There are a lot of basic things that you just need to do on a daily basis, weekly basis, monthly, quarterly, yearly basis to keep it going and growing. And if you forget those basics and fundamentals, you’re bound to go backwards. Really important.

The next thing is, this goes hand in hand with what I was talking about here, being really aware of your opportunity cost. So if you get opportunities to do something that maybe feels really exciting in the moment, but isn’t really ultimately leading you to where you want to go, you got to be cautious because it could be a shiny thing. It could sound really cool right now, but what is it really costing you? In addition to that, it’s things like scrolling social media or watching TV. Don’t get me wrong. I love reality TV. I’ve talked about the Real Housewives, love them and I watch them. But at the same time, I had to be really mindful of how much time I was putting into consuming and what I was consuming and being mindful of how I spent my day-to-day time and putting more time and energy and effort into the things that actually make my business go and grow. Of course, I’ve created a business that really compliments my lifestyle and it’s wonderful, but at the same time, I still have to stay focused.

And so cautious of how you spend your time and wasting time doesn’t just mean being lazy. I’m proactively lazy all day. I talked about that in this video. I like to be lazy. It’s important. You got to rest. Rest is just as productive as work. But at the same time, it’s very easy to get just out of track or off track by trying to do too much and spending your time on the wrong things. I did this very much. So in the beginning of my business, I was trying to be on every platform, I was trying to master every platform and that was a prime example of just wasting time. Focus on the things that are actually working and not wasting your time doing things that aren’t and wasting your time with people who aren’t really worth it or opportunities that aren’t really worth it, and knowing your value and knowing the value of each minute of your day so you don’t waste it.

Perfection is the next one. This has been very hard. I definitely grew up a perfectionist. If you’ve watched my story, then you know that that was a big issue for me, especially as I was getting started in this space, because you kind of feel like you got to be perfect in order to be successful. And what I’ve learned is that it’s the polar opposite. Be you. Be real. Be authentic. Show up as you are. Could I have made this video a lot more fancy? Absolutely. Was it necessary? No, because I don’t need to waste my time on stuff that doesn’t matter. All you care about how is knowing what these things are. You don’t really care what this video looks like. And then also in terms of perfection, I found that it was really just a way for me to procrastinate. It was a very dressed up pretty way for me to procrastinate. And it was also a way to protect myself. The longer I perfected something and the more that I worked really hard on something, the less I had to actually put it out in the real world.

And this is something that I work with my clients on all the time, get your work and your projects and your courses and everything that you want to offer the world, get it out there. Test it. Get your message out there. Test it. See how it lands. Until you do that, it’s just an idea. It’s not a business. It’s just a hobby. It’s not a business. So perfection was a big one for me and I actively work on that everyday. I actively show up messy because that’s better to me than trying to show up as something that I’m not because I’m not perfect.

The next thing. Talked about this a lot. I talked about this in this video from [inaudible 00:10:58] culture and the hustle scam, but aimless hustle. I really had to quit this to become a successful entrepreneur. In the beginning of my business, I was trying to do everything and I was trying to be what I thought a successful entrepreneur looked like, which was busy all the time. The best and smartest entrepreneurs in the world are not busy all the time. They focus on the things that are in their genius zone and they delegate or offset or just don’t do everything else. So aimless hustle means just blindly being busy for the sake of being busy. You got to know what your goal is to the work to lead you there, but anything else is just aimless and that’s going to lead you all off track.

The next thing is comparing yourself. This is a really big one, especially in this day and age. I still work on this, but I’ve done everything I can to basically protect my energy, my mindset, and my space by not consuming content from accounts or people that make me feel less than which there are a lot of them out there. It doesn’t even matter what space you’re in or what they do. It could be a freaking Instagram model. Sometimes that just doesn’t make me feel great. And I’m a pretty confident person. And I actually thrive and love the fact that there are other people out there who are deemed as competitors, because I really see it as an opportunity to collaborate. But comparison, it’s a bitch and it can make you miserable. And it also isn’t real because you have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes for other people. So really working on staying in your own lane, and again, that comes back to knowing what you’re working towards. When you know what you’re working towards in your own unique goals and strengths, it alleviates comparison.

And then the next thing is normalcy and certainty. I don’t feel like I’ve had a normal life now for over a decade. And I appreciate that and I embrace that and I thrive on that. But it also comes with a flip side and a negative side, which is I have missed a lot, especially in the early days. And just knowing that that’s part of this, you’re going to miss special occasions, you’re going to miss birthdays, you’re going to miss things because you’re so focused on what you’re doing. So any sense of normalcy, especially in the day-to-day, my days are not normal and that’s okay because that’s how I like to operate. And any level of certainty, entrepreneurship is literally meant and built for risk takers. And so I now know my business inside and out. I’ve talked about the amount of consistency that I have in this video, but it still comes with this level of, I don’t know what I’m doing.

It doesn’t matter how big my business has grown. I still feel like that every day. I still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing, even though it’s grown a lot. And so understanding that you’re never going to have 100% certainty in what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, where you’re going, you can set projections, you can have a good idea of what is to come based on your metrics, which is important, but don’t expect certainty in doing this.

The next thing is scarcity. This is a constant for me. And something that I’ve talked about quite a bit on this channel when it comes to money and it’s natural. It’s natural to fall into scarce thoughts when you are in a place where you’re taking a risk on starting a business. So actively working and harvesting an abundance mindset and believing that it’s possible for you by looking at what other people have done and the ones that have come before you and knowing if they can do it, you can do it too.

And then the final one, it’s kind of funny, everything. I had to quit doing everything because I was trying to be weirdly perfect and be the perfect wife, be the perfect boss, be the perfect vision of health, be all of these things and it’s exhausting. And so over the years I’ve really come to realize that I can’t do it all. Can’t do it all at once. So I’m going to hire help in certain areas. That’s why I have a personal trainer. I’m going to hire people on my team that I love that are going to help me grow my business and are aligned with the vision and the mission. And I’m just going to make sure that I’m not trying to tackle things that aren’t in my genius zone, because part of the way that my business has grown the way that it has is because I learned to delegate, even things as simple as meal prep. I now have a company that does that for me on a weekly basis.

So I’m not spending my precious time and not wasting my time doing things that are occupying me mentally, that really aren’t providing a return on investment of that time. These are the 12 things that I have stopped doing in order to become a successful entrepreneur. I had to quit all of these things and this list just keeps growing, to be totally honest with you, but these are the main things.

Thanks so much for reading and watching!