STOP COMPARING YOURSELF to others…#ASKSUNNY

Even if you are walking down the street, looking on social media, or even just looking up comparison is everywhere. And in this edition of #AskSunny, we’re going to dive into how to stop comparing yourself to other people. I know that this is something that most people can relate to so let’s get into the question that came from Fran:

“Hey, Sunny. Big fan over here. Love you. So my question is as an online entrepreneur, how do you tackle being new? Like having these amazing people around you that have done it before, or that have more experience than you or already have… like are successful? How do you tackle with that mindset? Love you.”

Such a good question and something that I think everybody kind of struggles with, particularly at the beginning when you are new but here’s something to consider. Everybody starts new. I started new, every person on the planet who is doing anything that other people look up to, they started as a beginner. They started as the new kid on the block. The biggest difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is how you use comparison and how you use the people who are way beyond where you are to your advantage. Because you’re either going to use comparison as fuel or a reason and an excuse to fail. One thing to understand when it comes to comparison is it’s really rooted in two things. It’s either rooted in a lack of vision, meaning that you’re so caught up in looking at what everybody else is doing, because you have no idea what you really want to do and where you really want to go.

And so, because you lack vision, you’re getting unfocused and you’re distracted by everything and everyone around you. And it’s much easier to spend your time comparing yourself and actually working towards what you want to do. The other thing that it’s really rooted in is imposter syndrome, which is totally normal. I think every single person who wants to do anything big with their life or their business struggles with imposter syndrome. And I think it’s something that you don’t really need to fight. It’s something to really embrace. So understand that it’s normal to be new. And if you relate to this at all, be sure to hit that like button some more people see this and be sure to subscribe. It’s free to do so you can always change your mind later.

So I think the first thing to understand is you really have to know who you are in order to achieve what you want to achieve. Because there’s going to be a million people to tell you do things differently, or there any people that you look at that you think you need to emulate, but what ultimately makes you so successful is what makes you unique. I made a whole video on this and the six questions to ask yourself to get to the root of really what you bring to the table and the value that you bring, which we all do. You can check that out after this video. But a few questions to kind of start stirring that up is what is a challenge that you’ve overcome or an obstacle that you’ve overcome. Anything that you had to overcome as a hurdle is ultimately something you can help other people with. What is something that really bothers you and that you wish you could fix. Entrepreneurs are problem solvers.

So start with the problems in your life or your business that you want to solve, that’s a great place to start. And it makes you unique because not everybody else is focused on that. The other thing is honestly asking yourself what differentiates you from everybody else on the planet and really looking at it. You might be thinking, nothing. But I promise you your story is what makes you unique. Nobody else shares your story on this planet so it’s really important to hone in on that. That’s why I talk about it so much, that’s why I shared my story and I think it’s so valuable to really dive deep on your own story and look at yourself as the hero in your story and not the victim. Because if you are the hero, you know what you bring to the table, really shifting your perspective on it is important. So asking yourself those two things and starters, and also understanding what people come to you for in terms of help.

Oftentimes we take that for granted. We take for granted what people ask us for help with because we think that everybody can do it. They can’t. Your genius zone often lies in the thing that you take for granted. So for me, it was videos and making videos and did that my whole life friends always ask me to make videos for special occasions. And I thought everybody did that, it was normal. It’s not. It’s not paying attention to those things where you feel in flow state, or you put your effort or attention into that makes you unique. And that makes you right to become the next big thing. The other thing is learning to embrace it, like embrace the comparison and use it to your advantage and embrace the imposter syndrome.

So JLo of all people also struggled with imposter syndrome and compare yourself to other people because people said, he can’t ask, he can’t sing, he can’t dance. And she had this quote in an interview where she said, “I just started working harder than everybody else. And I saw that working harder than everybody else and it was paying off. But more than that, I started believing in myself. I started believing in the fact that I wasn’t an imposter. I wasn’t a fake, that there was a reason that I kept doing this and people kept hiring me. It was like, okay, maybe I’m good at this. But it took time and it took time to believe in myself.”

And that is true for anybody. It takes time, but the more you do and take action and prove yourself wrong that you actually can do this and you’re worthy of it. The more confidence you build and the more success and opportunity that are ultimately going to come your way. The next thing to understand is really surrender to it, surrender to the fact that it’s normal to feel inferior. It’s normal to feel like you aren’t worthy of success. It’s normal to feel that imposter syndrome. But again, it’s really about how you use it. And I think it’s a sign from the universe when you feel jealous of somebody else, or you feel like they’re doing what you want to do, but you can’t get there. It’s ultimately telling you that you want what they have and you have to flip it from, I’m never going to do what they did to, if they do it, I can do it too.

And I talked about this a lot in last week’s video because if they have done it, they have set up a proof and a model for you to follow, what a gift. I don’t believe really in competition. I just think everybody who’s been able to achieve anything is just proving that it’s doable for everybody else out there and everything has been done. Everything has been done. But you bring something to the table that nobody else has, which is your most differentiating factor, which is you and your story and your experience. And that is what makes you ultimately successful in anything that you do. And the final thing I’ll say is we are now in a time that comparison is a lot easier than it used to be because you’re seeing it all around you as I mentioned at the beginning of this video. It’s hard to avoid, especially on social media.

And so again, being mindful of what you consume, who you follow and who you listen to because you are worthy of success and paying attention to anyone or anything that even subconsciously, they’re probably not doing it on purpose makes you feel like you’re not, you got to get it out of your mind. Because honestly, when you’re getting started and when you’re feeling that way, like you’re new and you’re never going to make it and you’re never going to get there, understand that everybody started there and everybody feels that way and thinks that way in the beginning. You’re either going to use it to fuel you, or you’re going to use it as an excuse to fail. So be very mindful of what you consume and who you consume information from. So that you’re always in a place that you’re high vibration and you feel like you’re worthy of what you’re about to achieve because honestly the only way to fail is to quit. And you’re only going to quit if you get so consumed by what other people are doing, you stop focusing on your own stuff.

You are more than capable of being the next big thing. Even if you’re brand new right now, because so many people have done that before you. So many people started new and still got there.

Are you with me?